whoops!~ jumped too soon XD

ok here's the deal.. XD

when i woke up this morning, i didn't feel so good about what happened yesterday.. something didn't seem right..

i talked to tita jinky and tito joel about it and they are both against it and they don't want me to give away our address..

long story short.. i ain't getting fred's offer XD

in a sense, it's too good to be true.. even though i felt that he was kinda sincere, and even though it really might have been for real, nonetheless, in the end, i'd still have to respect tita jinky's and tito joel's decision on it anyway.. and though his sincereness can be debatable, we'll never really know.. it's better not to know than to find out with the addition of something bad happening.. if your mind is broad, ya'll can imagine what i mean..

i ain't really affected by it cuz a day before yesterday, i was doing fine... everything was goin ok.. so theoretically, i should still be fine even though it ain't gonna happen anymore.. in other words, i can think of it as if it never really happened..=D

ever since the beginning of it all.. i knew it.. when i recieved that first email and he asked me about my gear, i already knew that he was gonna give me something.. i wasn't so surprised by the time i got the 4th or 5th message where he laid it down and told me he'd give me the amp n' guitar.. at the same time, i kinda had the feeling that this probably still won't happen XD .. ewan ku ba XD i just had this feeling from the start.. i guess i just got blinded by the excitement and the hope of it really being true.. not so much the exceitement about it really happening.. gets? XD .. i was blinded by the thought that it could be from God, when it, in reality, was most likely just a test from Him, seeing if i could say no to it.. i know this is really faith-ish nd all but it's a good thing not to be ashamed of it =D .. thing is this... when it was that 1st Burning Heart session (a night service that happens every month at church where it's all praise and worship), one theme of it hat night was surrender and about Him being #1 and above all.. at some point in the service, kelanie i believe, was led by the Holy Spirit to say that we should surrended anything that we might be considering above God.. and at that moment, what first came to my mind was my future guitar.. medyo what was happening kc was that my work was becoming motivated into making money for that guitar (which might be one reason why God took away the job form me).. so nyweiz, it's cuz of that that the first thing is thought of was to surrender the guitar (even though i didn't even have it yet) to the Lord so i could rethrone Him as #1 in my life.. that moment, the Lord spoke to Tita Jinky and Tita Jinky gave me confirmation that that was what the Lord wanted me to do.. so that's what i did..

so when this thing happened yesterday, i initially thought that this might be Go'd answer to that.. but then i realized when i thought about it a little harder, that i may have not surrendered it fully yet, and that this was another test from Him.. so now, that it ain't gonna happen anymore, im more at peace cuz i feel that i passed the test in the sense that i was so easily able to accept tita jinky's and tito joel's decision.. ya'll get what i mean? please don't think of me as wierd or anything ayt? XD

nyweiz, on the bright side, im still alive XD .. im still fine.. XD .. it's as if nothing's happened .. everything's going smoothly.. and everything is STILL in God's hands.. =) ;) .. im going to try to get a hold of fred agen and tell him about my decision.. in other words, i'll say, thanks anyway.. XD

off that topic, i was able to speak with Mr. Turner again today, and everything is pretty much planned and ironed out.. but it's still subject to change and it all depends on the decisions ill be making in the future, and the conviction God gives me toward the direction He wants me to go.. as goes in Kelanie's song 'Let Go Now', "I make my good plans; You [God] direct my stops. I will trust in You at all times. Your ways are higher than mine. I let go now." =D

aside from that, other upcoming stuf..

i have to read chapter 1 of my english textbook.. 80 pages long! XD (so don't go thinking it's THAT easy for me here.. XD) .. the 1st draft for essay #2 is due next week..

tuesday is my Biology exam..

friday is my Statistics exam..

and aside from that, i guess that's pretty much it.. XD

bye for now! ;)